Many songs have been sung

To tell of things that happen

And deeds that have been done

But few can match the story

Of an appliance's man's career

As he stands in all his glory

A story sad to hear

I am such a fellow

I know the story first hand

I weep tears of sorrow

For each appliance man

A lady calls a pleading

My washer's on the blink

An' the baby's dirty diapers

Are filling up the sink

She will be there a waiting

With money in her hand

You're the greatest fellow

You're her appliance man

I walk up to the door

And show a silly grin

She opens wide the portal

And asked me to come in

Then I found myself upon the floor

Just like a fallen tree

With a hundred pounds of ugly dog

Lookin' down at me

She pats this pup upon the head

And said don't you think he's sweet

I hope he likes doggy food

And hates the taste of meat

Now the job is finished

She says my husband will send a check

You know they's going to cut off your phone

But oh well, what the heck

After all it's only money

And look at the good you've done

You worked your tail off for years

And had just lots of fun

I tried this mill for thirty years

And tried to bear the cost

But there's one thing I'm damned sure

It's thirty years I've lost

This is one story I have told

I could tell a thousand more

So listen well you bright young men